The Lloyd Family

High School Reunion

2011-07-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

The Class of 2001

I can't believe it's been 10 years since I graduated high school. Life was so different back then...the biggest dramas were who was dating who, where is everyone going for college, what are you wearing to prom, etc. I don't think anyone really realizes how good they have it until they are out on their own, wishing they could go back.
We had a great time last night, with dinner catered by the Firehouse at the American Legion in Eldora, and enjoyed catching up with everyone over a pasta feast. Then we continued the celebration at the Firehouse, where there was a live band, and plenty of drinks and conversation.
I never made it back for my 5 year reunion since I was living in Omaha at the time, but I'm really glad I was able to go to this one. There's nothing quite like catching up with old friends. Some people have changed a lot, and some people are exactly the same as they were 10 years ago.
It's been a long time since I laughed that hard that many times, and it was just what I needed to get my mind off of other things...

God is Like

2011-07-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

God is like...
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like...
a FORD
He's got a better idea.

God is like...
COKE
He's the real thing.

God is like...
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like...
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like...
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like...
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like..
ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you'll like Him.

God is like.
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there.

God is like...
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like...
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

God is like...
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like...
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?

God is like...
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

Not Always Right, But Funny...

2011-05-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

For anyone who has ever worked in retail, or just with people in general, you know how absolutely ridiculous people can be. This website has become a new favorite of mine. Whenever I need a good laugh I just go check out the recent posts from people and crack up laughing...sometimes out of humor, sometimes out of sheer stuupidity!
So, without further ado...my new favorite pastime...

Not Always Right But Funny

God Bless America

2011-05-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

Now I lay me down to sleep
One less terrorist this world does keep
With all my heart I give my thanks
To those in uniform, regardless of ranks
You serve your country and serve it well
With humble hearts your stories tell
So as I rest my weary eyes
While freedom rings, our flags still fly
You give your all, do what you must
With God we live and God we trust
Amen.

The American flag does not move because the wind blows passed it…it flies from the last breath of each military member who has died protecting it.

Thank you to all the troops who made bin Laden's death a reality...

New blog...,

2011-03-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start a separate blog on our infertility struggles...you can find it here Adventures in Infertility.

If anyone checked this out before now, I have changed the link. Apparently I can't type and added an extra letter to the address. This is where you will find me!

More Infertile Ramblings...

2011-03-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

It always feels like we are the only couple on earth suffering from infertility. I hear and read that millions of people are going through infertility treatments but yet where are they? My friend "Martha" got pregnant after (oops!) drinking too much one night; My friend "Belinda" tried for an agonizing three months before it finally happened to her; and all of my friends are either pregnant or having baby number two. If there are millions and millions who suffer from infertility, it certainly feels like they are living somewhere else.

I might feel like a jealous infertile.

I might feel bitter and envious.

I might feel like everyone is pregnant but me.

I might feel angry, disappointed and frustrated.

I might feel hopeless, then hopeful, then hopeless again.

I might feel heartbroken, emotionally-drained and desperate.

I might feel encouraged, excited and exhausted.

I might feel like I can’t look at that toilet paper even one more time.

I might feel like I'm getting high on Folic Acid.

I might feel like I see that Transvaginal Wand more than my husband.

I might feel like I will go crazy if my fertility clinic doesn’t call me back by 3pm.

I might feel like I know more about cervical mucus than a fertility specialist.

I might feel like I've had more unprotected sex than an immature teenager.

But I might feel calm and strong and determined.

And although I might feel lonely when experiencing infertility, I am definitely not alone.
*************************************************************************************

Here are some reasons it's GREAT to be infertile...

(1) No awkward sex talk with my future children! Explaining the birds and the bees to our children will be fun! “Little Tommy, when a mommy and a daddy love each other they drive to a fertility clinic and 4 years later, you are conceived with a lot of love and a little test tube.”

(2) By the time I am pregnant,my friends are already finished having kids. I can borrow all their baby stuff (even if they are stained with poop and vomit).

(3) During IVF or IUI, My partner doesn’t even have to be present during conception! Just send him a quick text once it’s done. “Honey, we did it! How was it for you?”

(4) When I go to sleep at night, I still get to sleep through the night.

(5) I get to cry about infertility in random places. Why go to a boring old grocery store if you’re just going to shop. Yawn. Boring. Having a emotional breakdown in the tampon aisle, now that’s interesting!

(6) My friends all offer to let you have their bratty kids. Great! So don’t be surprised and call the police when I take them. We had a verbal agreement.

(7) When my quintuplets arrive, I might get your own television show called IVF Mama Plus Five!

(8) My friend have stretch marks, sagging breasts and wrinkles. I only have weight gain and acne due to fertility medication.

Even if it doesn’t always feel this way and I thinkIou will never get pregnant, infertility is most likely temporary. But hope and determination are permanent.

Grr!!

2011-01-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

Words I love to hear: "Stop trying and it will happen."
Yep, that will make me a baby!
People have no idea what infertility is like.
I have PCOS.
We also have some minor male factor issues to deal with.
So, yep, not trying will get me about as pregnant as not having sex will!

I am astounded by people's ignorance sometimes.

Please don't ever say this to anyone...whether they have been trying for 3 months or 3 years, because you never know what kind of issues they may be dealing with.

OK, I am stepping off my box now...

On another note...lots of good thoughts, finger crossing, prayers, and good vibes are needed next week as we take a new route on our infertility roller coaster!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

I was lucky enough to celebrate 5 wonderful Christmases this weekend. While I got many wonderful gifts, I wanted to share a few of my favorite things...

2 sets of high thread count super soft sheets, one in blue and one in tan

A new comforter

A necklace very similar to this one...

A Miche Shell

Miche Bag

Another new comforter

A Kindle!!

Lots of wall art, including a live, love laugh frame, letters to spell out Lloyd, a multicolored wall hanging that says " Live Every Moment, Love Beyond Words" and one that has my favorite quote..."Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairytale..." money to pay off my doctor bill, Scentsy, candles, clothes, jewelry, other purses, and giftcards, and many other wonderful things. Although I didn't get the one present I've wanted for over 2 years, it was still a wonderful Christmas. I can some up my Christmas in 3 pictures...

A Christmas Poem

2010-12-14T09:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas is the time of year
When everyone is full of cheer
People go the extra mile
Just to see their loved ones smile
When I think of Christmas, I think of joy
The laughter of little girls and boys
Seeing someone's eyes light up with happiness
When they unwrap the perfect gift
It is the season to give and receive
And to spend time with our families
To give thanks for everything we have
And to pray for those who have it bad
So, to everyone, I shout with cheer
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!

12-14-10 by Amanda Kate Lloyd

Before I was a Dog Mom...

2010-11-25T17:53:00.000-08:00

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
even if the doorbell rang.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got to bed
or if I could get into my bed.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I cleaned my house every day.
I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies
Or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers, plastic bags,
toilet paper, soap or deodorant
were poisonous or dangerous.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never been peed on
Pooped on
Drooled on
Chewed on
Or pinched by puppy teeth.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had complete control of
My thoughts,
My body and mind.
I slept all night without sharing
the covers or pillow.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop a hurt.
I never knew something so furry and four-legged
could affect my heart so deeply.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never held a sleeping puppy
just because I couldn't put it down.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was well.
I didn't know how warm it feels inside
to feed a hungry puppy.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being
A Dog Mom

Inspiration in the form of a song...

2010-11-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

I am dangerous when left alone with my own mind! I don't know how I found this, but Monty Python's "Sperm Song" is just what this girl needs right now! I started seeing a new doctor and had some different treatments this month, so I am crossing everything I can cross and trying to remain hopeful and optimistic! Repeating this song over and over certainly can't hurt my chances!!

There are jews in the world, there are buddists
There are hindus and mormons and then
There are those that follow mohammad, but
I've never been one of them

I'm a roman catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on
You're a catholic the moment dad came, because

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Hindu, taoist, morman
Spill theirs just anywhere
But god loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
God needs everybody's
Mine, and mine, and mine

Let the pagans spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill and plain
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

And I do have to say...after recently approaching the 2 year mark of trying unsuccessfuly...every sperm is needed in THIS neighborhood! :)

Tears and Hope...

2010-11-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

If I could make a video to explain exactly what infertility is to a couple, this would be it. It literally took my breath away when I saw it, because it took the words right out of my mouth.

If you really want to feel the hearbreak of being diagnosed with infertility, walk a mile in my shoes, and watch this video...

...it would mean a lot to me, and the millions of other couples that suffer everyday along with us.

My journey to motherhood began exactly 2 years ago, November 8, 2008...
and for now, is unfinished...
FOR NOW.

I'm Under Arrest for What?

2010-11-07T05:09:00.000-08:00

I’ve never claimed to have extensive knowledge of U.S. legislation throughout history, but it’s safe to say that I and most people I associate with are law-abiding citizens … or not. As it turns out, every state in this country has at least one wacky legal stipulation that could land residents in hot water if they don’t comply. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Alabama
It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

Alaska
Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.

Arizona
Cutting down a cactus may earn you a twenty-five-year prison term.

Arkansas
It’s illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

California
You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.

Colorado
It’s unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor (Denver).

Connecticut
A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces.

Delaware
It’s illegal to get married on a dare.

Washington, D.C.
It’s against the law to post a public notice calling someone a coward for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.

Florida
If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

Georgia
It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.

Hawaii
All residents may be fined for not owning a boat.

Idaho
A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing fewer than fifty pounds.

Illinois
It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).

Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.

Iowa
One-armed piano players must perform for free.

Kansas
It’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits (Natoma).

Kentucky
Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.

Louisiana
Biting someone with your natural teeth constitutes simple assault, but biting someone with your false teeth classifies as aggravated assault.

Maine
If you keep your Christmas decorations on display after January 14, you’ll be fined.

Maryland
It’s against the law to wash or scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is (Baltimore).

Massachusetts
No gorilla is allowed in the backseat of any car.

Michigan
A woman may not cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Minnesota
It’s illegal to paint a sparrow with the intent of selling it as a parakeet (Harper Woods).

Mississippi
Walking a dog without dressing it in diapers is forbidden (Temperance).

Missouri
Children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.

Montana
It’s a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.

Nebraska
Bar owners may not sell beer unless they brew a kettle of soup simultaneously.

Nevada
It’s illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women.

New Hampshire
It’s forbidden to sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

New Jersey
It’s against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

New Mexico
Females may not appear unshaven in public.

New York
While riding in an elevator, you must talk to no one, fold your hands, and look toward the door.

North Carolina
It’s against the law to sing off-key.

North Dakota
It’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio
You must honk the horn whenever you pass another car, according to the state’s driver’s education manual.

Oklahoma
It’s forbidden to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Oregon
State law requires dishes to be drip-dried.

Pennsylvania
It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island
You may not bite off another person’s leg.

South Carolina
If a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, he is required by law to keep his promise.

South Dakota
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee
Selling hollow logs is strictly forbidden.

Texas
You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

Utah
It is illegal not to drink milk.

Vermont
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

Virginia
Tickling a woman is unlawful.

Washington
It’s illegal to pretend that one’s parents are wealthy.

West Virginia
If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

Wisconsin
Unless a customer specifically requests it, margarine may not be substituted for butter in a restaurant.

Wyoming
Unless you have an official permit, you may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April.

You've Made a Difference Awards

2010-10-05T16:26:00.000-07:00

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

There are people who can touch our hearts just by touching our hands. God doesn’t give us the people we want. He gives us the people we need. People who will help us, hurt us, have us, and love us. People who will make us into the people we were meant to be.

I want to take some time to give out some "You've Made a Difference" awards to those important people in my life...

My husband--There really aren't words. He is my everything. My soul mate. There is a quote that says "Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale..." Well, he's mine. Plain and simple.

My mom--She is the strongest person I know. She's been through more ups and downs in her life than most people, yet she's always there for me with advice, a hug, or a shoulder to cry on. Most people think there mothers are pretty amazing, but I KNOW mine is.

My furkids--Unconditional love is an amazing thing. When you look into the eyes of an adoring dog or cat, all your cares melt away. Those animals live for you. To please you. And all they want in return is your love, some shelter, and food. It's the easiest love out there.

My Dad--We don't have the closest relationship, and the fault lies with both of us. However, I don't think there is one other person in my life who has made such an influence on my beliefs and choices. Watching someone slowly become a different person right before your eyes changes you for good. I haven't always been able to understand a lot of things about him, but there are some things I know without a doubt. He'd give me the shirt off his back if I needed it. He's always able to make me laugh. And he loves me. I'm his Sweetie Girl.

My lost baby--even though it was only a few weeks old, it's footprint will forever be on my heart. For a short, sweet moment in time, I felt a small taste of the powerful bond held between a mother and child.

My In-Laws--Since day one, they have taken me in as their own, no questions asked. There have been countless laughs, memories, and moments to remember forever with ALL of you.

God--Even though I don't see him, I feel him. And even though not all of my prayers have been answered, I know they will someday. The shortest distance between a problem and it's solution is the distance between my knees and the floor.

So, for all the people who read this (who are you all anyway? I'd love to know!)who in your life deserves an award?

Project Get Me Pregnant...a new chapter begins!

2010-09-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

True story...I go to meet my new Dr. for the first time today regarding my infertility issues, and I come out with a prescription for birth control pills! Seems counterproductive, but I can explain. :)
It all started around 11:00 this morning...
Dr. Hintz was recommended to my by my friend Wendy, and he seems just as good as she says he is.
The first thing he did was review my charts from my previous doctor, and ask a bunch of questions. He said he wasn't impressed with my blood sugar levels from my previous blood draw. I have been taking Metformin for that since February, but he bumped my dosage up to three times a day. Kinda makes me feel yucky, but I hope it will all be worth it. He also wants me to come and get a fasting glucose level done some morning in the next week or two to check and see if the Metformin is doing it's job, since we don't really know if it is or not.
He also wasn't a big fan in the fact that my previous doctor didn't provide much monitoring. I love that he doesn't mess around!
The game plan is to take the birth control pills continuously for 6 weeks, basically putting my ovaries to sleep. There are two benefits to this. One, it lowers the testosterone in my system. Two, it calms the ovaries down, so when we hit them with the fertility medicine again, they can go crazy. :)
After the 6 weeks of birth control, he wants me to try Femara again, but doubling the dosage, and having an ultrasound day 11 or so of my cycle to see if it's working. I questioned why he would want me to take medicine again that didn't do it's job the first time, but he said he has no way of knowing how I responded to it, and if it made me ovulate or not since I wasn't really monitored. If it is working, we'll try it for a month ot two. If it's not working, we'll go on to trying Clomid, still with monitoring to make sure it's doing what it is supposed to. If that doesn't work, we will try some injectables (really hoping it doesn't come to this) to get me to ovulate. In addition to that, if fertility meds don't work again it might come to inter-uterine insemination, or an IUI. It's just what it sounds like, where they take the sperm and put it directly into the uterus, so it doesn't have to work so hard.
Because we got pregnant once, he doesn't think it's a sperm issue with Brent, nor does he think my tubes are blocked. Those are things we will definitely check out if this plan doesn't work. He thinks my hormones are off, and while I may be having all the signs of ovulation, I may not acutually be doing so.
I have to say, I think this Dr. might do the trick. I'm really praying on it. Not only is his first name Brent, but the street that his office is on is Dale street, and I live on Dale Drive. Tell me it's not meant to be?
My journey to motherhood began in October 2008, and is still unfinished. Hopefully now I will be able to rewrite the story including a happy ending!

If I knew then what I know now...

2010-09-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

Oh, 10 years ago...life was so much simpler back then. Get up, go to school, go to work for a few hours, do some crusing, come home. The biggest worries were what I was doing for the weekend, and what clothes I was going to wear tomorrow. No budgeting, no serious jobs. And Mom and Dad were always there to fall back on. I dreamed of my future, and I made lots of life plans.
Some of those plans came true. Some of them haven't. And some of them are in progress...however, there are a lot of things they don't teach you in high school. How to manage your money. How to handle a heartbreak. That having sex doesn't always result in pregnancy. That your best friends in high school are sometimes total strangers 10 years later. That you can go through 8 years of school and still have no clue what you want to do with the rest of your life. That life is hard.

But, given the choice, I wouldn't go back. As free and exhilarating as that time was, life doesn't really begin until you graduate and go off on your own. That is when you really learn what it's all about.

However, if I knew then what I know now, I might have changed a few things.

I would listen more carefully to what my heart says.
I would enjoy more...worry less.
I would know that school would end soon enough...and work would...well, never mind.
I wouldn't worry so much about what other people were thinking.
I would appreciate all my vitality and tight skin.
I would play more, fret less.
I would know that my beauty is in my love of life.
I would know how much my parents love me and I would believe that they are doing the best the can.
I would enjoy the feeling of "being in love" and not worry so much about how it works out.
I would know that it probably won't...but that something better will come along.
I wouldn't be afraid of acting like a kid.
I would be braver.
I would look for the good qualities in everyone and enjoy them for those.
I would not hang out with people just because they're "popular".
I would take dance lessons.
I would enjoy my body just the way it is.
I would trust my girlfriends.
I would be a trustworthy girlfriend.
I wouldn't trust my boyfriends.(just kidding!!)
I would enjoy kissing. Really enjoy it.
I would be more appreciative and grateful, for sure.

A little "Infertility Therapy..."

2010-08-13T16:16:00.000-07:00

I’m going to start this out with a letter every woman struggling with infertility wants to send…

Dear Fertility God, Regular God, Mother Nature, or To Whom It May Concern (including Oprah),
I understand that you’re busy. You have large responsibilities and a lot of things going on right now. I understand if you’re working on the oil spill, curing diseases and figuring who will take over for Oprah Winfrey after she leaves the network. I get it. You’re busy. But listen. There are a lot of us out there who really want to be mothers and we know we would make very good parents. We have gotten a taste of infertility (and it tastes awful) but we are ready to move forward to a pregnancy and a baby. We know that infertility has made us stronger and more sensitive, and we promise that we will cherish our babies every single day and give hope to others struggling with infertility.
But seriously, Fertility God/Mother Nature, infertility is making us weird. We spend too many hours staring at the toilet paper, charting our basal temperature, googling our fake pregnancy symptoms and crying at baby showers. We use words like “ovulation” and “cervical mucus” like they are apart of normal conversation. Infertility is truly making us weird and we aren’t weird people. Just pointing out that it doesn’t serve society well when people are weird.
Mother Nature, from one mother to another, you know a lot about fertilization and we could really use that knowledge right about now. Next time, you fertilize something, consider throwing a little soil our way. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours Truly,
Amanda Lloyd

Whew! That feels better. I’ve been wanting to write that letter for a long time.
You know, the infertile woman is not like everyone else. There are lots of things that make her different from a woman who can pop out kid after kid without even trying. The infertile woman is probably the only person in the world that can go into a bathroom and return in tears or leave doing a happy pee pee dance.
To normal fertile people, the bathroom is a place where you do your business and leave neither happy nor sad. To an infertile person, the toilet experience can either make you or break you. You may walk into that bathroom stall happy and singing and come out with swollen eyes and a runny nose. You either (a) got your period (leading to extreme unhappiness and an emotional breakdown OR a little happiness if you hadn’t seen your flow since 1999 and joyful she has returned; or (b) saw traces of blood a week prior to your period and feel semi-excited/confused that it might be implantation bleeding; or (c) you have wiped clear which brings a private grin to your face.
Take my advice…never have a co-worker or friend wait for you at the sink. You may go into the stall as her perky pal Patty but you are leaving as hysterical and hyperventilating Helen. And who really wants to explain to a co-worker why you just left the toilet in tears? “Wow. That was really a big one. It really hurt to get out.” You might explain as you blow your nose with toilet paper. Because with one trip to the bathroom you can go from no drinking, all healthy food, and no coffee to a bottle of wine, french fries dipped in alcohol, and half a pot of Joe.
Flush.
And don’t even get me started on Facebook. Hey Facebook Friend, although I’ve enjoyed the thousands of pictures of your growing belly, your ultrasound photos and your babies first poopie diapers, for the love of God, PLEASE STOP!!!!!!
I may politely comment on my fertile friend’s daily status updates and maternity photos, but here are some things I would rather say instead…

FB Friend, I may have commented that your belly looks great but I really meant you look like a fatty!

FB Friend, your 3D ultrasound is just plain scary!

FB Friend, stop posting photos of your babies. They aren’t that cute. At least you won’t have to worry about future boyfriends!

FB Friend, you are right. Your ankles do look fat!

FB Friend, I don’t need daily updates about your pregnancy!

FB Friend, it’s unfortunate that your baby looks so much like your husband.

FB Friend, my frozen embryos are cuter than your fetus.

FB Friend, I’ll listen to you talk about your mucus plug if you’ll listen to me discuss my cervical mucus.

Facebook Friend, I love you but I am a sensitive and vulnerable woman who needs a little bit of extra support and hugs right now. And I also know that one day, I might post My belly and kid pictures too, just with a little more sensitivity…
You know what else is fun for a woman struggling with infertility? Playing the “Let’s count the pregnant women” game. Betcha can’t count just one! There’s one… There’s one… There’s one… Oh wait. She’s just fat. Thank goodness.
Every time I leave the house, it feels like every single pregnant woman on earth decides to walk past me. Every place I turn, someone’s pregnant, sporting a baby bump, pushing a stroller or even worse, pushing a stroller with a baby inside AND holding onto a toddler’s hand. How come she gets two babies when I can’t even get one?! It’s a super fun game to play because you can either play it at a baby shower or every single time you leave your house! Walking down the street – there’s a bump. Going to the grocery story – there’s a fertile in the pickle aisle. At the gym – hey look, it’s pregnancy fit hour. Neat!
I sometimes wish I could just carry a sign that read ‘I’m feeling lonely. Any other infertile’s in the crowd? If so, wave your ovulation sticks.’ But if you want to know if there are any other infertile’s out there, just look at her eyes. She will be glaring at a pregnant belly.

Damn. It’s a full time job being this bitter and jealous all of the time.

Since life is giving me lots of reasons to cry about infertility, I figured it was only fair I gave myself some reasons to laugh! Sometimes, we just have to say what's in our hearts. And while I truly don't dislike seeing people rejoice in their pregnancies, I do feel lonely when I am not able to do the same. The whole facebook thing is not how I really feel...I really do love seeing people's families and babies. But at the same time, each time someone announces their pregnancy or posts pictures of their newborns, it just reminds me that I don't have any of it.

Writing this has made me feel better than I have in a long time…

Ups and Downs...

2010-08-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Brent and I went to Omaha, and while there, I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor. Unfortunately, the past 6 months of fertility medicine has not resulted in the miracle we hoped for. Rather than waste my time, my doctor referred me to start seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or a fertility specialist. It's not the news I was hoping for, but it was the news I was expecting. I haven't made the appointment yet. My insurance does not cover infertility, plus, I think, even after almost 2 years of trying, I'm not 100% ready to admit defeat. I know there is still hope for us. One of my friends just found out she was pregnant after trying for 3 years, after stopping her fertility medicine. I'm not sure what my new doctor, whoever he or she is, will have in store for me. Some more testing, and maybe some more medication. Or, maybe they will tell me there is no way this is happening on our own, and we'll be forced to try alternative methods to make our dreams come true. Or maybe my dream will never come true...I think part of the reason I haven't called yet to make the appointment is because I am afraid of ultimately hearing that in the end, I will never be a mother.
I just keep reminding myself that while this road is bumpy, hilly, full of curves and detours, it's not a dead-end yet.
On the other hand, I've been trying to think of some reasons why I can be thankful I am not pregnant. I've had to dig down deep, but I think I've come up with some good ones...

1. Brent and I can have our "alone" time together everyday.

2. I can sleep in as late as I want on days I don't have to work.

3. I can drink as much coffee and pop as I want.

5. There are no Cheerios in my couch.

6. I can walk around my house naked if I want to.

7. We can go on vacation anytime our jobs allow.

8. Nothing wakes me up numerous times a night.

9. I can shop for myself.

10. Brent and I can eat out any night of the week.

11. I'm not sick every morning.

12. My ankles are never swollen.

13. I can eat food and it tastes good.

14. I don't have to use any kind of birth control.

15. I can take long, uninterrupted naps.

16. My house stays (relatively) clean when I clean it (you know, if I actually did clean it!)

18. There aren't small children crawling around forcing me to clean more often.

19. I can take cold medicine and Ibuprofen when I'm sick.

20. I never look down and suddenly realize that I have boogers, poo, breakfast, finger paint, drool, play-doh, or any other child-created substance on my clothes I've been wearing around all day.

I guess I don't have to know why God put me on this path. I just have to listen and learn. And when I think about how much this infertility feels like an uphill struggle, I just need to stop, take a deep breath, and think of how BEAUTIFUL the view will be when I get to the top!

Health Concerns...

2010-07-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Now that we are halfway through the year 2010, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.

I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up

I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a 25¢ coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.

I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . . .

Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

A Daily Struggle...

2010-06-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

I have a daily struggle.
I feel the pain of it everyday.
A pain that most people will never experience or understand.
A pain that may never ease up.
A pain that hurts deep inside.
A pain that rips through my heart.

This pain has a name.
INFERTILITY.

For a lot people, it’s just another word. It doesn’t affect them. It doesn’t leave them with empty, aching arms month after month.

It doesn’t make them wonder what is wrong with them. Or why their bodies can’t do something nature intended for them to do.

Infertility affects approximately 7.3 million women and their partners around the world.

I am one of many.

There are many faces of infertilty. Millions of people wanting nothing more than to be parents. Struggling month after month, with no results, watching person after person experience our dreams.

Infertility is unfair.

Infertility is cruel.

Infertility is my life.

And all I want is for it to end.

I want my miracle. I long for the excitement of a postive pregnancy test. I long to hear my babies heartbeat. I long to feel flutters of life in my belly.

But most of all, I long to be called Mommy.

7 years ago today....

2010-06-07T17:15:00.001-07:00

...I married my best friend. I can't believe it's been 7 years.
And I'm more in love today than I was 7 years ago.
Love just gets better with time.

The 12 Rules of Life

2010-06-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just need to remember what The 12 Rules of Life really are:

1) Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2) You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3) The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5) Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6) If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

7) Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month?
One week? One day?"

8) When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9) If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10) Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11) Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire.

12) And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond rULES

Special Delivery!

2010-05-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

I received a special delivery this morning at work right before closing up and leaving...it seems a magical super-baking powered woman thought she would make my day...

I have 6 Pumpkin Spice Sugar Cakes staring me in the face right now. But, they are for tomorrow. For Mother's Day. And I.only.get.one.
I have a feeling it won't be enough, and I will be placing another order soon to try some different flavors. We have an anniversary coming up. And Brent's birthday. And, ya know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...

I can't wait to try these. I have heard such good thing's about them!

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow...

2010-05-03T14:56:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

~ Author Unknown ~

National Infertility Awareness Week...

2010-04-25T18:54:00.001-07:00

Here is a little poem I found about National Infertility Awareness Week...
...as far as my own battle with infertilty goes, we are supposed to keep doing what we're doing and schedule a follow up appointment in August if not pregnant by then. And a big plus, I got a nice reimbursement check from my insurance company for my Femara...so they did cover it!

You're 27? Don't you think that maybe
It's time you settled down and had a baby?

No wine? Does this mean happy news? I knew it!

Hey, are you sure you two know how to do it?

All my husband has to do is look at me
And I'm knocked up.

Some things aren't meant to be.
It's sad, but try to see this as God's will.

I've heard that sometimes when you take the Pill—

A friend of mine got pregnant when she stopped
Working so hard.

Why don't you two adopt?
You'll have one of your own then, like my niece.

At work I heard about this herb from Greece—

My sister swears by doing quai. Want to try it?

Forget the high-tech stuff. Just change your diet.

It's true! Too much caffeine can make you sterile.

Yoga is good for that. My cousin Carol—

They have these ceremonies in Peru—

You mind my asking, is it him or you?

Have you tried acupuncture? Meditation?

It's in your head. Relax! Take a vacation
And have some fun. You think too much. Stop trying.

Did I say something wrong? Why are you crying?

Updates on our small town life...

2010-04-22T16:46:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to update everyone on all things Lloyd.
Brent is enjoying his new position in Iowa Falls. We are renting a house right across the street from Foster Park, and it's really nice to have our "own" space. We were lucky to have all of our family help us unpack, so we are already all settled with pictures hung and everything!
I started working at F&M Bank in Eldora on April 12. I really like it so far. Things will progress more for me after this weekend, when F&M Bank becomes Great Western Bank. I'm enjoying learning the financial ropes and interacting with the customers. I don't miss Sally's at all!
We're in our third month of trying the Femara. No luck yet, but I'm still hopeful! Our third month of trying overall resulted in a pregnancy over a year ago, so maybe this will be it!
It's so nice being back home again. It's nice to be in a small town and recognize a lot of the faces and see old friends.
So, that's us! Not super exciting, but we are most definitely happy here! No more Omaha is a grand thing. :-)

Big News!

2010-03-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

I am sure most people know this by now, but I wanted to share the good news.
Brent has been promoted to Assistant Market Manager, and we will be moving to Iowa Falls, Iowa! We couldn't have asked to be any closer to home!
He starts there Wednesday, and as soon as we find a place to live and I find a job
(if anyone knows of any, please pass along the info) we will be moving back home!
Now I get to start the long process of packing, and I only get to see my husband on Sundays and Mondays, but it will all be worth it!
Although the other thing we want to happen hasn't yet, we are still very excited and grateful for this blessing!

Doctor Update...

2010-02-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

Just thought I would update everyone. I had my second ultrasound today after taking my Femara, and it went really well. He said I had a great respone to the medicine, and I should be ovulating in the next few days. He showed me the BIG follicle where the egg is going to come from, and now I know why I have been having some tenderness in that area! He also said he was going to prescribe Femara more often if everyone's uterine lining looked as fabulous as mine. :-) I know that doesn't mean a lot to most of you, but it's good news!
He is so funny. He said, go home and tell your husband to have some coffee and get busy! When I told him Brent was at work all night, he told me to be waiting for him naked when he gets home! Ha!
So, everyone please continue to send the good thoughts and prayers our way...hopefully in the next few weeks or so I will have some good results! ;-)

Riddle me this...

2010-02-12T16:41:00.001-08:00

Here is a simple riddle. Only 17% of Stanford University Seniors got the right answer when asked.

What is greater than God,
More evil than the Devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
If you eat it, you will die?

By the way, Jacob(age 7) got the correct answer. No pressure though!

Infertility Survey Says...

2010-02-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

So, I had my infertility appointment with my doctor today. Here is what I found out...

He did some blood work and an ultrasound. I love him, I thought this was going to be more of a consultation, but he jumped right in! The blood work isn't back yet, but he thinks I have some form of Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS. Basically, it can do all kinds of things, cause acne, hair loss, hair growth, insulin problems, late ovulaiton, irregular cycles, etc. He thinks that while I do ovulate, I ovulate too late in my cycle (more like day 20 instead of 14) to produce a good quality egg.
PCOS effects the endocrine system, which can mess up insulin production, which, in turn can disrupt ovulation. So, he put me on a couple medications. The first one is a metformin, which is actually used to treat diabetes. I don't have that, but he thinks my insulin is too high, which the bloodwork can confirm, which makes me ovulate too late. So, by taking this, it will lower my insulin production, and cause me to ovulate sooner.
The second one is Femara, which is a fertility drug. If you've ever heard of Clomid, it's similar to that. It contains estrogen. He thinks I might produce too much testosterone, which is common with PCOS and late ovulation. So, this should make me have a more regular 28 day cycle and ovulate sooner. I have regular cycles now, but they are more like 34 days instead of the average 28.
So, I start the metformin tomorrow and take it every day. The Femara I take days 4-8 of my cycle, and then we are to time intercourse, starting on day 10 up through ovulation. I have to come back in on February 20 to get an ultrasound and make sure it isn't thinning the lining of my uterus and that there aren't 1200 eggs in there!
He said it's one of those things, that becase I am healthy, I have regular cycles, even though I ovulate late. However, if I were to gain 20 or 30 pounds, I might jump to 60-90 day cycles. The later the ovulation, the worse your chance of getting pregnant.
So, this is the plan for now, to try this for a few months and see what happens. He isn't recommend Brent get any testing for now, since he thinks this is the problem. I about crapped my pants when I picked up the prescription, though. For 15 pills of Femara ( 3 months supply) it was $208!! Sheesh, it better work.
All thoughts and prayers are still appreciated. I really hope this will be the solution for us!

One small step for Amanda, One Giant Leap towards kicking Infertility to the curb!

2010-01-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

For all my loyal (ha!) blog followers, just thought I would update that I scheduled a doctor's appointment for February 2nd, to start the process of figuring out what is wrong with this baby machine! I am sure it will be awhile before I know anything, but it feels good to have taken the next step! Wish us luck!

52 things about me...

2010-01-02T16:28:00.001-08:00

Just copy and paste to share your answers!

1. Do you like blue cheese dressing? Yes

2. Favorite Country group? Sugarland

3. Do you own a gun? No, and I never will. I'm too much of a klutz

4. What's your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop? Tall, Java Chip Frappuccino with Peppermint and Whipped Cream...Mmm!

5. What do you think of hot dogs? I don't like them...mostly because my husband is a butcher and tells me what is in them! :-)

6. Favorite Christmas movie? Prancer and Polar Express

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Orange Juice, Apple Juice, or Water

8. Can you do push ups? Maybe one...

9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My engagement/wedding rings

10. Favorite hobbies? Blogging, Facebooking, collecting quotes, playing Wii, shopping.

11. Do you have A.D.D.? No

12. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I wish I could learn to say no

13. Middle name? Kate

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
(1) I wish my pork chop was done cooking
(2) I;m jealous that yet another friend is pregnant
(3) It's fricking cold outside!

15. 3 drinks I drink most often? Water, Lemonade, Chocolate milk

16. Current worry right now? That I will never be a mother

17. Current hate(s) right now? My body! Or Brent's body, not sure which one yet...

18. Favorite place to be? With Brenty, Coaly, and Tucker, watching a movie!

19. How did you ring in the New Year? Brent, our friend Josh, and I sat at our house and had wine and watched The Hangover. Pretty mellow, but a nice night!

20. Like to Travel? I do...Brent and I want to take a vacation this year...any suggestions?

21. Name three people who will complete this? No idea...

22. Do you own slippers? I do! I wear them 365 days a year!

23. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink

24. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? Definitely not

25. What songs do you sing in the shower? Taylor Swift's "Love Story" is a favorite, but really, whatever trips my trigger works!

26. Favorite girl names? Mallory Nicole, Kaylin Olivia, Taryn Paige

7. Favorite boy names? Bryce David, Brayden Alan

28. What's in your pocket right now? No pockets, I'm in my jammies!

29. Last thing that made you laugh? Twyla and Christina at work

30. Worst injury you've ever had? Any one of the 4 broken wrists I have had

31. Do you love where you live? NO! Get us out of here!

32. How many TV's do you have in your house? 2, one in the living room, one in the bedroom. I would love one in my kitchen though!

33. Who is your loudest friend? Probably Kellie

34. Does someone have a crush on you? Hopefully my husband! :)

35. What is your favorite candy? anything chocolate

36. Favorite Sports Team? Cyclones

37. What were you doing 12 AM last night? sleeping

38. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? Back to work...

39. What is your favorite Holiday? Christmas

40. What are your plans for tomorrow? NOTHING!

41. Real Christmas tree or artificial? Artificial.

42. Your greatest fear? Never experiencing motherhood

43. Favorite TV show(s)? Say Yes to the Dress, Diners Drive-ins and Dives, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, Top Chef, Glee, Vampire Diaries, So You Think You Can Dance...

44. Biggest Pet Peeve? When peoople who are not my husband or grandmother refer to me as "Sweetie" or "Honey"

45. Do you snore? Brent says I do, but I don't know how he could possibly hear anything over the sound of HIS snoring!

46. Do you like scary movies? As long as I don't have to watch them alone!

47. Do you have a pet? Coal, our all black kitty, and Tucker, our 80-lb. yellow lad

48. Favorite artist? Um, Bob Ross? Anyone for a happy little tree?

49. Favorite cereal? Cap'n Crunch or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, it's a tie/

50. Last movie seen in the theater? My lovely husband took me to see New Moon for my birthday!

51. What are you most looking forward to in 2010? Hopefully, it's fixing the "baby machine" and getting good and pregnant! :-)

52. What is your New Year's Resolution? Just to have a better 2010 than 2009.

The road to success...

2009-12-19T18:34:00.000-08:00

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

I thought I'd share this quote with everyone. It explains a lot of things in life! I have experienced every one of those speed bumps and road blocks I think!

Brent and I are taking a mental break this month from our latest project. I have given up on the fact that we will get pregnant on our own. So, after spending a wonderful holiday season with our families, we will be scheduling some doctor's appointments to get some fertility testing done. Wish us luck!

Shopping and Presents and Fun, Oh My!

2009-12-05T12:30:00.000-08:00

I treated myself to some early birthday shopping today. Not too early, my birthday is on Monday.
Thanks to my gracious in-laws (thanks Janele, Roger, Dave and Jan!) I got myself some yummy and cute new items!

Buy 3 Get 3 Free items from Bath and Body Works, plus I got to use my 20% off coupon!

Twilight Woods shower foam

Twilight Woods Body Butter

Moonlight Path shower foam

Dancing Waters Body Scrub

Dancing Waters Body Butter

These cute black boots from Payless

This cardigan sweater from Kohl's

It is so nice to shop for me, it doesn't happen very often! Thanks for making my birthday special!

Vacation!

2009-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

I am on vacation from work for a week, starting this Tuesday through next Tuesday. Not really much planned, just had some time I needed to take or was going to lose. And who wants to waste paid time off? Not me!
So, this is what I spent my day doing yesterday...

Enjoyed a delicious Peppermint Mocha while getting a pedicure...

Made and sampled Triple Tier Brownies

And went one a date with my husband here...

It was a wonderful, delicious, relaxing day!

What's my age again?

2009-11-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

I just had to share this...I went to Gamestop today to buy Brent a game he wanted for an early Christmas present. It was one of those violent games that requires you be at least 18 to purchase it.
The guy working today must have thought that I look under 18, despite the fact that I was wearing a wedding ring and had my husband's Gamestop card. He actually checked my ID before selling me the game.
I am fully aware that I look a bit younger than my age, and the fact that I was wearing my glasses and had my hair back in a ponytail probably didn't help that any.
However, I am pretty sure I look over the age of 18. I don't have a problem with people doing their jobs, but I bet he felt like a real dumbass after looking at my ID and seeing that yes, indeed I was 18...in fact, I'll be 27 in less than a month. :)

It's OK...

2009-11-06T14:41:00.000-08:00

It’s OK.
It’s OK to want someone you can’t have.
It’s ok to keep friendships when you don’t want them, or when you want something more.
It’s ok to cry when you’re hurt and it’s ok to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it’s always gonna be ok.
That’s just how it works.
Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and a lot of times, it seems like they never will.
But, it’s OK, that’s how life is supposed to go.
It’s all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road, and waiting until they’re smooth again.
It’s all about forgiving and forgetting. It’s all about waiting and wishing. That’s just how life is.
And it's OK.

The Story of Jack Schitt

2009-11-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather
nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Things We Laugh At But Shouldn't

2009-10-23T18:52:00.001-07:00

We all do it. We laugh at things we know we shouldn't or things that are wrong, or even things we may be guilty of ourselves. Here's a list of some of the funniest things we know we shouldn't laugh at but do anyway.

1. Ugly Babies

2. People who walk with something heavy in one hand and have to lean really far the other way to balance themselves.

3. When someone turns around and goes back the same way they were coming.

4. Cops riding anything except police cars: Bicycles, Boats, and especially Horses.

5. People who say stupid things but really mean them.

6. Girls that wear belts that have no function and are not even attached to anything.

7. Cats wearing clothes.

8. People who animatedly sing in their car.

9. Fannypacks.

10. Guys who drive with their shirts off.

11. When you tell someone to watch out and they don’t.

12. People who have full protective gear on when they ride a bicycle or rollerblade (kneepads and everything).

13. When you catch someone talking to themselves.

14. Stupid car horns.

15. Clowns and mascots. Not because they are funny, but because they are sad.

16. When someone turns around to say something to the person they are with and find that they aren’t there anymore.

17. Anytime someone runs into something.

18. The plural of “Salami.”

If anyone has any of their own to add, do share. :)

25 Random Things About Me

2009-10-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am follwing Renee's lead and posting 25 Random Things About Me. If you read this, you must do it as well. If you have a blog, do it on your blog and I will read it. If you read this and have a blog that I don't know about, do share the link! We can all learn a little something about each other!

1. I was named after both of my great-grandmothers, Amanda and Kate.
2. I was born in Cherokee, Iowa.
3. I have the same birthday as my Grandma.
4. I collect smiley faces.
5. I am scared of clowns, fire, flying, and the dark.
6. In my first year of Fantasy NASCAR, I have never been below second place.
7. I am obsessed with Facebook, and it’s the first thing I check when I get home from work.
8. Traffic drives me insane.
9. I have always wanted a Miniature Dachshund named Oscar Mayer.
10. I love to bake.
11. I have fractured both of my wrists twice.
12. I set 2 alarms every night, one alarm clock and one cell phone. I have to check the cell phone 10 times before I can go to sleep. I must have a touch of OCD.
13. Money simply MUST be facing the same direction, and in order with largest bills on the bottom and smallest on top.
14. I cannot stand people who dress up their animals.
15. I love Pauly Shore movies.
16. I wanted to be a Veterinary Assistant when I was younger.
17. One of my favorite foods in the world is cheese.
18. I wait everyday for Brent to call me and tell me he is being transferred!
19. I lucked out…all my in-laws are fabulous.
20. I hate living in the city.
21. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for shelter animals. I want to volunteer at the Humane Society, but I am afraid I might take all the animals home!
22. I have never seen the ending of Stephen King’s movie “IT” due to the scary ass clown in it!
23. I love anything to do with wedding and wedding dresses! I will watch any show on TV involving weddings.
24. I eat the same thing for lunch everyday…a tv dinner, a yogurt, sparkling water, a fruit snack, and 2 Hershey Kisses. The only thing that varies is the tv dinner itself!
25. I love to write poetry, and have quite a collection from over the years.
26.

Silly Kitty, Pants are for People!

2009-10-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Brent was doing some laundry the other day, and walked away from it after laying his work pants on the bed...I am sure it was because there was some sporting event on TV he desperately needed to watch! :) When he walked back in, he was greeted by the sight of Coal laying in his pant leg. Not just on his pants, but acutally inside his pant leg. It might be a bit hard to see as Coal, the pants, and the bedspread are all black, but we thought it was pretty cute!

A Good Day...

2009-10-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

Since my posts are always depressing, I thought I would write about why today is a good day.

*I am wearing the new Kasey Kahne shirt my husband bought for me this weekend.
*I don't have to work, and it's shipment day, so that's really a good day to have off!
*I just spent a ton of money on groceries, but that means I have lots of yummy stuff to make, like beef stew and chicken cordon bleus!
*I have mozzarella sticks in the oven for lunch, and a pork chop and baked potato waiting for me for supper
*My afternoon will be spent in a hot bubble bath reading the latest US Weekly magazine, followed by some ER reruns and a Java Chiller from Sonic!
*My house is clean
*My dog was well-behaved all weekend and got to sleep with me while his Daddy was out of town.
*My toenails are gold and sparkly. :)
*I discovered that if styled the right way, my hair is curly.
*Tonight I can watch Hell's Kitchen, So You Think You Can Dance, and The Hills, because Brent is at work!

Anyone else having a good day?

Self Discovery...

2009-10-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past few years. Some good things, and some bad things. It’s taking me a while to become the person I want to be, but I’m getting there.
Life’s not always a party. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. But, life is like photography. We develop from negatives.
I thought moving away from everyone I loved was the worst thing ever at the time. And while I do miss my family and friends terribly, I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today if I hadn’t. I never would gotten the experience of running my own store. I wouldn’t get nearly as excited about spending the weekend with family. I never would have learned that I can be a self-sufficient woman. You can’t rely on your mommy when she’s 4 hours away!
I spent the first 5 years of my marriage thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a family. Excited about everything the future held. It was so fun to talk about what kind of mother I would be, what we would name our kids, how many we would have. My in-laws and I had a great time teasing Brent about having babies.
The past year I’ve spent trying to make that dream come true. And as of now, it hasn’t. It’s been tough, it’s been heartbreaking, and, at times, I have questioned if it is worth it. As hard as this past year has been, I know God has a reason for it, and through all the pain, I’ve learned what a wonderful husband I have. Celebrating the joy of pregnancy and the devastation of a loss has strengthened my marriage. We’re in this together, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, through good times and bad, ‘til death do us part. When something bad happens, you learn the meaning behind the words in those vows you said in front of God and the rest of the world.
I have experienced heartbreak. I’ve had my faith in God tested. But I have learned never to give up. Where hope grows, miracles blossom. There is light at the end of every tunnel. While I can’t see exactly where that light leads yet, I’m catching a glimpse of it every now and then.
For now, I’m going to continue working on myself. I’m letting go of the pain, starting over new. I’m finding out who I am and doing it on purpose. I’m taking the good with the bad, smiling with the sad, loving what I’ve got, and remembering what I had. I’m learning to forgive, but never forget, learning from my mistakes and to never regret. People change, things go wrong, but I’m starting to realize that life goes on. Sometimes we must get hurt in order grow. We must fail on order to know that sometimes our vision is clear only after our eyes have been washed away with tears.
I’m going to be happy even though life isn’t perfect. I’m going to look beyond the imperfections. I’m taking a step outside of myself, turning around and seeing who I am. And you know what? I kind of like me. Excess baggage and all.

Moving on...

2009-10-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

This has been a really rough week for me. Yesterday, October 1, would have been the due date of our first child had we not suffered a miscarriage. I still have a big hole in my heart from that day, and the fact that I am no closer to having a baby in my arms now than I was then makes it even harder. Not only was yesterday my due date, but it was the end of hopes for another month...officially 10 months of trying and nothing...
I have dreaded this day coming, but now that it is over, I know I need to move on. I will never forget my lost child, but I know I can't spend the rest of my life dwelling on it.
Trying to get pregnant has been the single hardest thing I have ever gone through. And I know we've still got a journey ahead of us, it's not going to get any easier. I'm holding out for a miracle to happen in the next couple months before we seek a doctor's help...I'm not sure if I can handle finding out something is wrong with one or both of us.
But from this day forward, I am moving on and looking towards a brighter tomorrow. As heartbreaking as this process has been, it's made me a stronger person, and it's strengthened my bond with my husband.
With all my heart, I know one way or another, someday, somehow, I will be a mother.
I'm ending this post with a poem that touched my heart...

Daddy, please don’t look so sad
Mama please don’t cry
Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
And He sings me lullabies
Please, try not to question God
Or think He is unkind
Don’t think He sent me to you
And then He changed his mind
You see, I am a special child
And I’m needed up above
I’m the special gift you gave Him
The product of your love
I’ll always be there with you
And watch the sky at night
Find the brightest star that’s gleaming
That’s my halo’s brilliant light
You’ll see me in the morning frost
That mists your window pane
That’s me in the summer showers
I’ll be dancing in the rain
When you feel a little breeze
From a gentle wind that blows
That’s me, I’ll be there
Planting a kiss on your nose
When you see a child playing
And your heart feels a little tug
That’s me, I’ll be there
Giving your heart a hug
So daddy, please don’t look so sad
And mama, don’t you cry
I’m in the arms of Jesus
And He sings me lullabies

An Ugly Pair of Shoes...

2009-09-25T12:40:00.001-07:00

"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have work the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author Unknown

A Poem...

2009-09-25T07:49:00.001-07:00

In my desperation Lord, I cry out to you
With a heart so heavy and full of pain
No idea in the world what to do
Will you hear me or turn me away?

In my desperation Lord, I cry out to you
I need your guidance now
Please tell me everything will be okay
Someday, someway, somehow

In my desperation Lord, I cry out to you
With empty, aching arms
Longing for a sweet child to call my own
To which I would never do harm

Oh, Lord, I need you now
To guide me down the road
To help me climb the mountain
To help carry the load

Please help to fill my broken heart
With the love I fear I may never know
The love of a beautiful, wonderful child
A love that continues to grow and grow

I promise with everything that I have
With all that I am, and all that I will ever be
I will do right by you to raise my child
Please, have some faith in me

In my desperation Lord, I cry out to you
Please fill my empty soul
Restore my faith in all that I’ve lost
Help to make my family whole

9.19.09

I Believe...

2009-09-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones that offer a hand to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe--
That no matter how steep the mountain, the Lord will always climb it with us.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
That even though we don't always understand it, God always has a plan for us and everything happens for a reason.

I believe-
In being silly, laughing and dancing around, and acting like a child just for the heck of it.

I believe-
In never giving up on your dreams. The road you travel may be more difficult than you ever imagined, but someday, your dreams WILL come true.

I believe-
That good things come to those who wait.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life.
Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.

So, I want to know. What do YOU believe?

Dance Like Nobody's Watching...

2009-09-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself
and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer,
until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink,
until you've sobered up,
until you die, until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time
than right now to be happy...
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So, Work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt and
Dance Like no one's watching.

God is Like...

2009-09-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

God is like...
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like...
a FORD
He's got a better idea.

God is like...
COKE
He's the real thing.

God is like...
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like...
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like...
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like...
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like..
ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you'll like Him.

God is like...
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there.

God is like...
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like...
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

God is like...
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like...
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?

God is like...
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

Must-See TV

2009-09-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have a new favorite TV show. Surprisingly, it's not a medical show, or a reality show! It's a new show on Wednesday nights at 8:00 on FOX, and it's called Glee. It's a great mix of humor, music, and seriousness. It's a show about a high school Glee club, and all the trials and tribulations they go through.
It's hilarious, and they do some great remixes of modern songs, like Kanye West's "Goldigger" and Rihanna's "Take a Bow" as well as some more classic stuff like "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey.
I highly recommend everyone check this out at least once, it's great! It'll take you back to high school, not matter how long ago it was. :)

Ways to Brighten Up a Boring Day at the Office...

2009-09-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Ignore the first five people who say “good morning” to you.

Phone someone in the office that you barely know, leave your name and say “Just called to say I can’t talk right now, Bye.”

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Leave your zipper open for an hour. If anyone points it out, say “Sorry, but I really prefer it this way.”

In the middle of a meeting, suddenly yell out “YAHTZEE!”

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding in the elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Say to your boss, “I like your style”, and shoot him/her with double-barreled fingers

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee, then ask “Did you get all that?, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”

Page yourself over the intercom (do NOT disguise your voice).

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem. (Extra points if you actually launch into it yourself.)

Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off/on 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone as “Bob.”

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two!”

While an officemate is out, move their chair to the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce “With God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”

In a colleague’s daytimer, write in 10am: “See how I look in tights.”

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask “Do you wanna swap?”

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”

Speak in an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

A New Look!

2009-08-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

I thought it was time for a fresh new look for my blog...bright, colorful, and cute! It's fun for the whole family! :)
I haven't had much to blog about lately. I am sure everyone is bored of hearing my sob stories, but sometimes that is all that is on my mind. I've been trying to lighten my load, so to speak, lately, and think of happier things, things that I might have a little control over. I can't live my life only holding on to dreams...I have to get out there and live the present moments, too!
On the moving front, Fareway is opening a new store the beginning of October. We're sure hoping that this time is our turn! We can't wait to get out of Omaha! The new store in located in Minnesota. We're hoping they send someone else there, and have Brent replace that person so we can get back to Iowa, but you never know what might happen!
But, until then, we're just here, small town people hanging out in the big city, waiting for some good news to come our way!

What I've Learned...

2009-08-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Dear God...

2009-08-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.

From Happiness to Heartbreak...

2009-08-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

It was finally time. The moment I had waited for for 5 long years. We were finally ready to start a family. Financial burdens and low-paying jobs were no longer an issue. My dream to be a mother was about to come true.
A few months earlier, I began to arm myself with any and all information regarding fertility and conceiving a baby. I started taking prenatal vitamins. I bought the book suggested by all my friends on the Ovusoft message boards, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, and a basal body temperature thermometer.
The book taught me how to check my “lady juice” and take my temperature every day to find the few days I was most fertile every month. I was surprised and amazed by the wealth of knowledge that was in this book. It was like the Holy Bible of the woman’s body.
Armed with the knowledge of how and when, I jumped in with both feet. The first month was fun. We timed everything perfectly. I tried not to get my hopes up. After all, there is only a 25% chance of conceiving every cycle in perfect conditions.
When the witch came to visit me, I was let down for sure. I thought of how amazing it would be to tell all the grandparents we were having a baby for Christmas. But, I wasn’t too discouraged. This was only the first month, after all.
The second month I threw myself even deeper into my quest. I tried out another trick, using an Ovulation Predictor Kit, which alerts you to a surge of a chemical the body releases right before ovulation. Again, we had perfect timing. And again, the witch showed up, on Christmas Day. I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
I went into the third month thinking “the third time’s a charm, right?” and it was. Amazingly, the witch didn’t show at her usual time. I was so excited, I ran out to buy a pregnancy test, and spent the next few hours squinting at the faint line that was there. I wasn’t sure I believed it, so the next day I went and bought one of those fancy digital tests. The most amazing word in the whole world stared back at me. I was pregnant. It was January 26, the best day of my life.
Brent and I couldn’t wait to tell our parents. We took a picture of the test and emailed it to everyone, telling them the race was on to see who would call first. It was so amazing to share this wonderful news with them, everyone was so excited and happy for us.
The next day I went out and bought a pregnancy book and began thinking about baby names, nursery themes, if we were going to find out the sex or not. I made a doctor’s appointment for 2 weeks later. All I could think about was how I was going to be a mother. I spent a lot of time on the internet looking for baby things and talking excitedly on the Ovusoft message boards with other expectant mothers.
5 days later, January 31, one spot of blood unleashed a torrent of tears. Reality flooded in. I was at work. Brent was at work. I called him, and we went to the emergency room, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. The doctors took my blood, examined me, and broke my heart. The pregnancy was over before it really even began. Just a few hours earlier, my arms longed for the fulfillment of my dreams; then in a matter of minutes, my heart felt like it ripped in two. I grieved as though I had lost a child to death. In a sense, I had. My child had been within reach, then snatched away. Though I had not made it to the day of it’s birth, my child was real. It’s so hard to say goodbye when I never even got the chance to say hello.
6 months later, my heart still aches. The due date of my lost angel fast approaches, and I am no closer to having a baby in my arms than I was that horrible day in January.
My faith in God has been tested heavily over these past 9 months. I know they say He doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I wish he didn’t think I could handle so much. This has been the most difficult, heartbreaking process I have ever been through. Each month we try, and each month, we fail. Each month I am hopeful and excited, imagining all these “symptoms” in my head. But every time I take a test it’s negative. And each one hurts just a little bit more than the last.
For those of you that have children, you are so very blessed. Never take them for granted. I will never understand some things about the world. Two unmarried people involved in a one night stand get pregnant and it’s a burden. But, two loving, committed people who want a child more than anything in the world suffer each month with empty, aching arms.
I am not giving up. I will never give up on my dream to be a mother. I have faith in God that he knows it’s what I was born to do. No one will ever love a child more than I will. No child could ever be more wanted then the one that is somewhere in my future. I just pray that God blesses us with a gift soon.

Praying for Stellan...

2009-07-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

I first learned of MckMama's blog through The Schwarcks
I have been captivated by his story since the first time I saw his adorable face.. This is a miraculous little boy, with an amazing mother and father. They have been through so much in their short time together, and now they are being tested again.
Stellan's heart is failing. They are running out of options to save him.
I have had my faith in God tested heavily in the past few months. But, I still believe. The power of prayer has helped this little boy many times before, and I think we can do it again.
I know there aren't very many people who read this blog, but for those of you that do, please find it in your hearts to read his amazing story, and send up as many prayers for him as you possibly can.
There is strength in numbers. Let's show Stellan how strong we are!

Wednesday's Wisdom

2009-07-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

We should probably all copy these down and tape them to our bathroom mirror so we see them everyday. Sometimes it's hard to realize it, but these things are all true!

-There are at least 2 people in this world that would die for you.

-At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

-The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

-A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone.

-Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

-You mean the world to someone.

-You are special and unique, and that's a good thing.

-Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

-When you make a mistake, even the biggest one ever, something good can come from it.

-Remember the compliments you receive and forget the rude remarks.

-Whenever God closes one door, he opens another, even though sometimes it's Hell in your Hallway.

-Happiness keeps you sweet, trials keep you strong, sorrows keep you human, failures keep you humble, success keeps you growing, but only God keeps you going!

My 10 Guilty Pleasures.

2009-07-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

1. FRIENDS. I own every season, and no matter how many times I see them, I still want to watch them again and again.

2. So You Think You Can Dance, on FOX, Wednesday and Thursday nights. If I am unable to watch it live, I DVR it. I can't get enough!

3. Son-In-Law. Most people probably think this movie is ridiculous, but I love it. I think Pauly Shore is hilarious, and there are just so many quoteable lines from this movie!

4. Netflix. The lazy woman's Blockbuster! It's so convenient to have movies delivered right to me. I can keep them as long as I want, and it's one flat rate per month.

5. Guitar Hero. I could play this for hours. It's so addicting!

6. Facebook. Hours at a time are spent on here. I love catching up with everyone!

7. Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It's like magic in my mouth!

8. Twilight. I've read all the books, and will be seeing all the movies. It's a very addicting storyline!

9. Harry Potter. Hands down, the greatest story ever told.

10. Caramel Java Chillers from Sonic. They are so fattening, but worth every calorie!

So, what are your guilty pleasures? I tag...Bridget, Jessica, Megan, Andrea, Kayleen, Jill, Nicole, and Amber.

Fun with the Fishes For the Fourth!

2009-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Brent and I had a great visit with his Mom and Step Dad this holiday weekend. We spent a lot of time relaxing, visiting, and most of all, eating our body weight in food!
The Fishes arrived Friday night, and although Brent had to work, I was home, so we went to eat at a local Mexican restaurant called La Mesa and had some fantastic nachos. We came back here with all intentions of playing Guitar Hero, but stupid me had some trouble getting the controllers to work, so we opted on a movie instead.
Saturday we all slept in and then went to Cabela's. Roger had some gift cards burning a hole in his pocket. We wandered around there for an hour or so, and I even found a cute shirt there for $7.50. Never thought I would find anything that interested me at Cabela's!
We worked up an appetite shopping, so we decided to try Kentucky Fried Chicken's Grilled Chicken. It was very tasty, I highly recommend it for anyone who hasn't tried it.
After lunch we sat around watching an "Extreme Series" on the Travel Channel, which profiled some crazy restaurants, fast-food items, and things to pig out on. We finally got in that game of Guitar Hero, too.
Then we decided to go for walk around the trails in our area. We took a semi-brisk 2.5 mile walk around Ralston. We definitely needed it! Once we arrived home, I slaved :) over a hot stove to make lasagna and garlic bread with homemade fruit pizza. It was amazingly delicious! We let our food digest while watching the NASCAR race and then called it a night.
Sunday we watched Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick at Wimbledon, then went for an amazing lunch at Red Lobster. If that wasn't enough, we made a side trip the The Cheesecake Factory on the way to the mall. I had Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake and it was amazing, all 1200 calories of it!
The Fishes then headed for home and Brent and I relaxed and watched a movie. All in all, it was a very uneventful, but delightful and relaxing weekend! Even though we love having company, it kind of destroys our diets, so we'll be eating light and exercising the rest of the week to make up for our super pig out weekend!

Not Me Monday

2009-06-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

I have decided to take MckMama's lead this week and have a Not Me Monday.

I did not wake up this morning, and pray it was raining before I looked outside, hoping I wouldn’t have to get my butt out of bed and go for a walk.

I did not sit around the house all day yesterday in my pajamas without so much as taking a shower. Nope, not me.

I did not go for a walk this morning, only to ruin it later with a Java Chiller from Sonic.

I did not wake up this morning and hope that it was Sunday again so I wouldn’t have to go back to work tomorrow.

I did not walk up to the fence of the house behind my apartment building and bark annoyingly at the dogs who barked annoyingly at me. I would never do that.

I did not record an episode of ER that I have seen 100 times this morning just so I have an excuse to sit down for an hour later and do nothing.

I did not try to bribe my dog this morning with an extra treat so he would lay down and behave.

I did not sit under a blanket all day yesterday when it was 85 degrees outside in hope that my cat would come sit on my lap.

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

2009-06-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

If you are like me and HATE going to Wal-Mart, this list is for you! Doing any number of these things would definitely make a trip to Wally World more enjoyable!

1. Take shopping carts for the sole purpose of filling them, then abandoning them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the day.

4.Start playing dodge ball-see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of wrapping paper.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the computers.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially if the aisles are thin and narrow.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares." Then see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station. Then, turn all of them off and turn the volume as high as you can so the next customer can enjoy some awesome music.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself, loud enough for others to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store. If anyone asks, you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about 5 feet away.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends using the entire store as your field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say "Wow! Is that magic?"

20. Put M & M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department. Try to recruit other customers to bring pillows from the bed and bath section, food from the grocery section, etc.

23. Test the fishing rods by seeing what you can "catch" from other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and tell everyone "I'm Batman! Come, Robin, to the bat cave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so they all say hello when turned upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and say "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking in front of you, run through the and ask if they want to play Red Rover.

31. Make up nonsense products and ask new employees if they have any in stock, for example, "Do you have any Schnerples in the back?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in the toy department by setting up a full scale battlefield with G. I. Joes vs. X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. "Test" the brushes and combs in the Health and Beauty section.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the them to Mission: Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like "Would you be so kind to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the door.

42. Two words. Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, Pet food in the Cosmetics section, etc.

44. Re-Alphabetize the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the Auto Department, practice your Madonna look using various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly take off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "No no, it's those voices again!"

49. Pay off your lay away items 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazine section and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a beverage, explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Smile

2009-06-19T17:49:00.001-07:00

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
Though there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile, through your fears and sorrows
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
If you just light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

Life lessons from someone who knows...

2009-06-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

Something we all need to read daily!!!!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Its OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. Its OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer..
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years , will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale...

2009-06-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

6 years ago, on June 7, 2003, I married my best friend. It seems so long ago and like it was just yesterday at the same time. We've been through a lot since we've been married...a job transfer to another state where we didn't know anybody, several moves, adopting our furkids, struggling to have a baby...
But no matter what we've been through, I know we can make it through so much more. We can make it through anything. I have found arms that will hold me at my weakest, eyes that will see me at my ugliest, and a heart that will love me at my worst. I have found true love, my fairy tale ending.
So, to my wonderful husband I say...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

I don't think you even read this blog, but if you do, this is for you...

I love you enough to fight for you, compromise for you, and sacrifice myself for you if need be. Enough to miss you incredibly when we’re apart, no matter what length of time it’s for and regardless of the distance.
Enough to believe in our relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times, to have faith in our strength as a couple, and to never give up on us.
Enough to spend the rest of my life with you, be there for you when you need me or want me, and never ever want to leave you or without you.
I love you this much.

Here's to another 50 years!

Words of encouragement...

2009-06-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

So often it seems that life is only made up of things to worry about. Life has many disappointments for all of us ... death, illnesses, betrayals, tragedies, and feelings of worthlessness and despair. Sometimes life can seem so very grim, and so many times we tend to wallow in pools of self-pity.

I believe that our time here on earth gives us the opportunity to grow spiritually. We can experience much personal growth because of all the suffering, worries, and difficulties we have to go through during our lives. It is God's way of fine-tuning us so we become more compassionate, more caring, more loving, and more aware of others' pain. After all, how could we ever dry the tears of others if we had never cried ourselves?

We all find ourselves in the valley of despair sometimes. It may sometimes seem that we are forever worrying, learning lessons, suffering pain, and facing challenges. But we must try to remember that the fertilizer that helps us "grow" is in those valleys, not on the mountain tops.
During the times that we feel scared and confused, we will always end up wiser and we will grow more from the experiences. We will understand more about people and life, become more sensitive, and we'll be able to enjoy life more after we go through the hard times.

We have to experience sadness so that we may better measure joy. Life has a way of balancing the sorrow with the joy, the disappointments with the hope, and the emptiness with the meaning.

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles we overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose.

Even though things have been hard for me lately, I know God has a bigger plan. I'm not sure yet what that plan is, but I know some day he will show me. All I can do is pray every day that he shows me soon.

Funny Friday

2009-06-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

Funny Friday

2009-05-29T15:53:00.001-07:00

Does anyone know how to say "Would you like some fries with that?" in Indian?

Wednesday's Wisdom

2009-05-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

"Life is like an onion: You peel it off, one layer at a time, and then you weep."

Funny Friday

2009-05-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn''t be late for church. As she ran she kept praying, “Dear God, please don't let me be late to church. Please don't let me be late to church....” And, as she was running she tripped and fell. When she got back up she began praying again, “Please, God don''t let me be late to church -- but don''t shove me either!"

What Nobody Ever Told Me About Trying to Have A Baby...

2009-05-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That the longer you try to conceive the more pregnant women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That one day you wouldn't mind checking your cervical mucous or cervical position to see if it is your fertile period.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started trying to conceive earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That my husband is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

Tat women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.

That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.

Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to trying to conceive.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That no one I know would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That my faith in God would be tested heavily.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.

That some people just say the wrong things.

That sex would ever become a chore!

That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."

That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have.

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That I would learn to speak in code

That when aunt flo showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.

That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.

That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.

That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.

That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.

That my friends who started trying to conceive 1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with 2 before we get pregnant with 1.

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.

That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!

It's good to know I am not alone.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")

That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.

That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time

That your body has its own mind.

That you would cry your eyeballs out because Aunt Flo showed.

That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pregnant.

That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.

Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.

That you feel useless as a female

That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children

That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

40 Things to Know Before Getting Married...

2009-05-08T15:42:00.001-07:00

-Great relationships are no accident.
-If work is taking my best energy, my marriage will suffer.
-The greatest gift I can give my spouse is my own happiness.
-It is possible to hate and love someone at the same time.The only rules in marriage are the ones you both agree on.
-It’s not what you have, it’s what you do with it that counts.
-Conflict does not destroy a marriage, but the avoidance of it causes resentment.
-Every marriage has seasons–there can be some hard winters.
-My primary relationship is with my spouse, not my kids.
-It is never too late to repair damaged trust.
-Secrets are lies.
-Sex can improve with age.
-If you can’t be happy without your spouse, you probably can’t be happy with them.
-Getting help when you can’t work things out is a sign of intelligence, not weakness.
-One person, no matter how much you love them, cannot meet all of your emotional needs.
-The real issue is usually not what you are arguing about.
-Love is not a feeling; it’s an action.
-Arguments cannot be avoided in marriage, but destructive ones can.
-Even people with great marriages sometimes wonder if they married the wrong person.
-My opinion is not necessarily the truth.
-Vacations are necessities, not luxuries.
-Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.
-Guilt-tripping never gets you what you want.
-What you judge in your spouse is a reflection of what you judge in yourself. It takes one to know one.
-A lack of vision will destroy even the most loving of marriages.
-My spouse is both my teacher and my student.
-If my spouse is defensive, I’m probably giving them a reason to be.
-The cheap thrill you get by putting down your spouse isn’t cheap.
-Good sex doesn’t make a marriage great, but it sure helps.
-Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.
-Don’t say anything about your spouse that you’re not willing to say to them.
-If your spouse thinks something is important, it is.
-Marriages never outgrow the need for romance.
-There’s a difference between sex and romance.
-Nothing deadens sexual desire more than unresolved anger.
-Don’t yell at your spouse unless the house is on fire.
-The silent treatment was invented by a kindergartner.
-A quick phone call when you are going to be late can prevent an explosion.
-It’s okay to read a book on improving your marriage.
-Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.

The Open-Toed Shoe Pledge!

2009-05-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

It is getting to be that time of year again...

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back! into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 or $25 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Life would be perfect if...

2009-05-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

Life would be perfect if...sweatpants were sexy.

Life would be perfect if...Monday mornings were fun.

Life would be perfect if...junk food didn't make you fat.

Life would be perfect if...girls didn't cause drama and boys weren't so confusing.

Life would be perfect if...nothing was regrettable.

Life would be perfect if...you didn't have to lose the people you love.

Life would be perfect if...friendships didn't fade.

Life would be perfect if...goodbye always only meant until tomorrow.

Life would be perfect if...everyone worked at least a day in retail...just to see what it was like.

Life would be perfect if...making a baby was as easy as making a sandwich.

Life would be perfect if...families were never ripped apart.

Life would be perfect if...no natural disasters existed.

Life would be perfect if...chocolate was healthy.

Life would be perfect if...we never had to see people we don't like and always got to see people we love.

Life would be perfect if...the easy was was always the right way.

Life would be perfect if...houses would clean themselves.

Life would be perfect if...we never had to grow up.

So, how would YOUR life be perfect?

10 Years!

2009-04-08T13:53:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's been 10 years.

It all began the in April 1999. Brent and I were both dating other people, and to make a long story short, those people decided they were going to date each other instead of us.
It was a Friday night, and Brent was out cruising Eldora with my brother, and I was cruising with Andrea Gotto. My brother flagged us down and asked if Brent could cruise with us since he had somewhere else to be. So, Brent got in with Andrea and me, and we decided it would be much more fun to cruise in Brent's car with his boomin' system, so we went to get his car and dropped mine off at home.
We spent the whole night flirting and talking, and I had a great time playing with the silly dice he had hanging from his rear view mirror.
The next day I had to work, and when I got off around 4:00, I went to my car and saw the cutest thing ever...Brent had stopped by my car while I was working and put the beloved dice on MY rear view mirror. I thought it was just about the sweetest thing ever.
Later that night, Brent stopped by my house and asked me if I wanted to come over and watch a movie. We spent the evening watching Tommy Boy and laughing our faces off. When it was time for me to leave, he gave me the nicest kiss and asked me if I would be his girlfriend.
That was April 12, 1999. Ten years ago on Sunday.
We've had so many good times together...going to Florida to visit Brent's Aunt Mary Jane twice, moving in together after I graduated high school (I know, it's a sin), getting engaged January 22, 2002, going to Cancun in 2007, and of course, the best day of all, our wedding day, June 7, 2003.
I can't imagine where my life would be if I never met Brent. Not many people are lucky enough to find their soul mate when they are 16. I thank God every day for giving him to me.
It's been the most wonderful 10 years of me life, but I know the best is yet to come. We WILL have children of our own sometime soon, and we will be able to watch them grow together. We'll move to many new towns, and hopefully settle some place quiet to raise our children and and find a forever home. We'll grow old together, and I know I will love him more when we celebrate 50 years together than I do now.
We will be together forever, because true love stories like ours don't have happy endings...they don't have any ending at all.

2003.

2001.

2002.

1999.

2008.

Just Those Few Weeks...

2009-04-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have found this poem very inspiring. Hopefully no one reading this blog ever has to suffer a loss, as it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But, this poem puts feelings into words very well, and I hope others may find it uplifting as well.

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks--
I had you to myself.
And that seems to short a time
to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks--
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks--
When I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks--
It wasn't enough to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks--
And no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny, unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why do I?

You were those few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

Copyright, Susan Erling

All good things must come to an end.

2009-04-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am sad and excited that tonight is the series finale of my favorite show, ER. I have seen every episode of every season, most of them multiple times. What am I going to do every Thursday night at 9:00 now?

Cry Babies

2009-03-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

I got this video sent to me in an email, and I thought it was the cutest thing ever! It's funny, when the baby is crying, the dog isn't, and when the dog is crying, the baby isn't!
Dogs amaze me sometimes. I am wondering if my Tucker is going to be like this when we finally have a Little Lloyd!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypTP3kzvBp8

For some reason, I can't upload it to here. User error, maybe? :)

Take a look at the link. I promise it's worth it!!

Food for thought...

2009-03-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

The ups and downs have life have inspired me to write some poetry recently, and I thought I'd share it with the blogging world. Writing is a great outlet for me, and I wish I had more time to do it.

LIFE

Somedays life is too much to bear
Sometimes I wonder if God is really there
No matter how hard I pray or how much I cry
He never shows his face, and it’s hard to understand why
But if everything was always great
And we never had to struggle
I don’t think we’d ever realize
How to put together the pieces of the puzzle
The puzzle that is life
Why we do the things we do
If we never had to make tough decisions
We’d never know which path to choose
Sometimes God throws things our way
And we feel like there’s no way out
But even when we doubt him
He knows what he’s talking about
He never gives us more
Then our hearts can stand
When it seems like we can’t take anymore
He’s there to lend a hand
We just have to look inside
And find the strength that lies within
Believe with everything that is in our hearts
And put all our faith in Him

--Amanda Lloyd, March 15, 2009--

STRUGGLE

Lately life’s a struggle
I feel like there’s no end to my pain
I work so hard and try my best
Yet I never seem to gain
All the things I want to do
Are just beyond my touch
I try to make the best of things
But somedays it’s just too much
Nothing ever seems to go my way
No matter what I do
I hope, I pray, I wish on stars
Yet my dreams never come true
I don’t think I’m asking for a lot
I know life will never be perfect
Sometimes I just need a little hope
To remind me it’s all worth it
I hope all the wishes and dreams
Will someday become my reality
I’ll look to the future I’ll do my part
And pray the goodness comes back to me

--Amanda Lloyd, March 15, 2009--

Courage

2009-03-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you and learn from them. There is always tomorrow. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing in which you think you cannot do.
So, what is courage?

COURAGE
cour-age
noun
(the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.)

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the night saying, 'I will try again tommorow."

Courage is believing that even if things are rough now, they will get better. God never gives us more than we can handle.

Courage is having faith that tomorrow is a new day, a new oppurtunity, a new chance to do something great.

Courage is seizing the moment.

Courage is holding on to your hope, even though every day it feels like it slips away a little bit more.

Courage is believing in yourself, even if no one else does.

Courage is being able to say goodbye when you never even got the chance to say hello.

Courage is holding on to your dreams, no matter how far away they seem.

Courage is waiting around for something you know may never happen, even though it's everything you've ever wanted.

Courage is having the strength to try one more time, even when the world says to give up hope.

I am courage.

From the minds of Ben and Jerry...

2009-03-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

Ben and Jerry are my friends. They make some pretty darn amazing ice cream. They have outdone themselves with the creation of this masterpiece. I am sad it is a limited batch, and I may never enjoy another pint again, but let it be known, this is the best ice cream ever created. It's certainly worth every sweet, creamy, indulgent, pumpkin-y calorie.

"Be strong now because it will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever."

2009-02-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

A wise man shared this with me a little while ago...

Luke11 vs 9-10

"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receives; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened "
Sometimes our plans and time tables are not the same as His.

I guess I was kind of naive to think having a child would happen so easily. I know for some people it is. But, if you really research it, the chances of conceiving in a cycle with everything timed perfectly is only 25%. It's amazing to me how many people get pregnant on accident given those odds!
I just need to trust in God and know that we are doing everything we can to make our dreams come true, the rest is up to Him.

Keep those thoughts and prayers coming. It seems each month gets longer and longer!

On a different note, still no news on a transfer for us yet. Brent says if he hasn't been transferred as an assistant manager by June he is going to tell his supervisor to just send him anywhere. As soon as he does that, we probably won't be here long. So, that means that we will probably be out of Omaha by July or August. Hopefully sooner, though, we're still holding put for the store that is opening next month! Keep your fingers crossed!

I've Been Tagged...

2009-02-13T15:23:00.001-08:00

Andrea tagged me with her 4th picture in her 4th folder, so, here is mine. I'm not sure I could have found a more boring picture! This is the dining room table of the Me by Melia Resort in Cancun, Mexico. We went there in April 2007 for a trip I earned at work. Pretty exciting.

Unfortunately, I don't have 4 people to tag who haven't already been, so everyone gets a break on this one! :)

Thank you...

2009-02-12T12:22:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to write and say thank you to all of our family and friends who have helped us through the past couple weeks. For those of you that don't know, I had a miscarriage. It's been really hard for us, but each day it gets better, and we're blessed to have wonderful people around to support us. I went to see my doctor yesterday, and everything is just fine with my innards :-), so that is good news.
We're ready to move on with our lives and try again...we know God had a reason for doing what we did, and are thankful it happened sooner rather than later.
So, a big thank you to everyone for the thoughts, prayers, and support, and please keep them coming. We can definitely use them as we continue on in our journey to have a family.

Every Woman Should...

2009-01-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

MAYA ANGELOU'S' BEST POEM EVER

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMA N SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship....

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a charming Inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

I Am.

2009-01-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

I am STRONG because I am WEAK. I am BEAUTIFUL because I know my FLAWS. I am a LOVER because I am a FIGHTER. I am FEARLESS because I have been AFRAID. I am WISE because I have been FOOLISH, and I can LAUGH because I have known SADNESS. I am a YOUNG GIRL and a GROWN WOMAN. I am CONFIDENT and SCARED, TERRIFIED and EXCITED. I am LOVING, CARING, THOUGHTFUL, and HOPEFUL. I am STRONG, but I BREAK. I am SICK and TIRED. I am SHY and FRIENDLY, CAREFUL and CARELESS. I am BROKEN and WHOLE. I am MISUNDERSTOOD, MISGUIDED, and MISLEAD. I am HARDWORKING and DETERMINED, but a little SCARED on the inside. I WISH on STARS and DREAM my DREAMS. I PRAY to GOD and CRY my TEARS. I SMILE on the OUTSIDE while I’m DYING on the INSIDE. I LISTEN to others who won’t LISTEN to me. I am NOT everything I WANT to be, but everything I NEED to be. I LAUGH at the stupidest things, and usually SAY the WRONG thing at the WRONG time. I WALK on EGGSHELLS, and I WALK on FIRE. I BELIEVE in PASSION and TRUE LOVE. I LOVE you and PUSH you away. I am EVERYTHING and NOTHING all at once.

I am a Winner.

2009-01-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

I am a winner.
I have beaten odds to get to where I am today.
I have felt some pain every time I have taken another step forward, yet after having taken even one step back, I have known that regression and giving up were not options for me.
I have felt the emptiness of separation as I have moved in the wrong direction.
I have learned the art of persistence, tenacity, and dedication.
I know how it feels to watch my world and dreams shatter into a million pieces at my feet.
I know what it is to run until there is nothing left inside of me, and then run some more.
I know how it feels to be loved and how it feels when that loves grows hard and cold.
I know how to be happy.
I know how to smile and spread joy into the lives of others with that same smile.
I have learned that one conversation can make or break a fragile mind and heart, and I have learned to choose my words carefully.
I know that enthusiasm is the key to everything, and yet I know how it feels to completely lack it.
I have learned that winning is not everything, but sometimes it feels like it is the most important thing.
I have learned that other color ribbons only prove to make that blue so much sweeter.
I know that my toughest competitor is always myself.
I know that sometimes my best isn't good enough for others and that some people can be cruel.
I know that sometimes I get frustrated with myself, especially when others are frustrated with me.
I know how it feels to have something mean so much to me that it IS me.
I have expended wrath, outrage, and fury, but have still made it through the storm a survivor.
I know what it is to love.
I know how to spread joy and extract it from others even in the darkest situations.
I know what hope is, and I rely on it as my last refuge.
I know that darkness must exist, if only to make those tiny bits of light seem that much brighter. I know that success is self-made, and that luck is a relative term.
I know that I am strong.
I know that miracles do exist, angels do find us in our hour of need, and there is always something behind me pushing me forward.
I believe in myself at all times, even when I think that I don't and even when it feels like no one else does.
I know how it feels to be lost.
I also know what it feels like to be picked out of a crowd, and what it is like to be a winner, and how it feels when, for one moment; you are the star of the show.
Above all, I know that all of this has made me ME.
I know that being a winner is not about winning, whatever race faces me in the moment.
I recognize I am winning just by pushing myself everyday, and by waking up each morning feeling blessed by the day that lies ahead of me.
Through this I am winning the most important race ever, the race I entered at birth, this race we call life.
And I am a winner.

Things I don't understand...

2009-01-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

There are definitely lots of things I don't understand in this world. I was reminded of a few of those things today while driving home from my friend's baby shower.

I HATE slow drivers. Especially when there is a slow driver in each lane, and I cannot get around any of them. If the speed limit is 45, then please, can't at least ONE lane go 45? Must we all go 35 because you are a dumbass and can't drive the freakin' speed limit?

This lovely vision was walking down the street. Since I was driving SO slowly, I got the pleasure of stopping at every stoplight. For those of you who have ever driven in Omaha, you know stoplights are definitely NOT few and far between. I happened to have my camera with me, so I took this picture.

Can someone please explain to me why this is an acceptable thing to do to your pet? Because I really don't understand at all.

My Newest Addiction...

2009-01-16T09:14:00.001-08:00

So, my wonderful husband surprised me on Christmas and bought me a Nintendo Wii. Wonderful present. Hours of entertainment. Problem is, I feel like I am turning in to an 18-year-old boy. It's so addicting! To top it off, we recently purchased Guitar Hero, and that game is like crack! I think about playing it all day at work, and then when we get home, we play it for hours. I even dream about it. The red, blue, green, and yellow keys fly straight at me, and of course, I hit every note perfectly. :-)
As I type this, I am thinking about wasting away my day off playing it.

In other news, we were a bit disappointed to find out that just in time for them to open the Minneosta Fareway store, they were also closing their first store ever, one of the locations in Sioux City. That means no moving for us right now. However, they are still opening a second store in Ames, Iowa within the next month, so everyone cross their fingers that one of the 2 openings created will be given to Brent!

There's not much else to report at this time. I guess I better get my butt moving and do what is necessary today...so I can get back home and play Guitar Hero!!! :-)

Holiday Rules...

2008-12-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes . Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always find out if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's cooking. Lots of it. Hello?!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'

Have a great holiday season!

Wonder Cat Powers...Activate!!

2008-12-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

Are YOU talkin' to ME? Rawr!!

I surrender. Pet my belly please?

Get out of my way, Punk!

Hi, Mom! I'm just checking my email...

Merry Christmas Everyone! Wait, the paper isn't my present?

8 Random Facts about me...what about you?

2008-12-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

The Rules:
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who read it write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

Let's see how much we can learn about each other!

1. I am named after both my Great-Grandmothers, Amanda and Kate.

2. I am terrified of clowns, elevators, and the dark.

3. I have fractured both of my wrists twice.

4. I wish I would have gone to school to a be a Journalist of some sort, or a Veterinary Assistant.

5. I love cheese. Almost to the point where I think it should be considered a food group.

6. I have never seen the end of Stephen King's movie "IT", due to the fact there is one scary-ass clown in it. I can be a huge baby sometimes!

7. I absolutely cannot stand touching raw meat of any kind. My husband loves working with meat all day long, and then having to come home and deal with it here too!

8. I set 2 alarms every morning, one regular alarm clock, and one cell phone. I have to check the cell phone 6 times before I can go to sleep. I have to get ready in the exact same order every morning, and I have to leave my house at the same time every day. I guess you could say I am just a little bit OCD.

The Good Ol' Days.

2008-12-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight Brent is at work, and boredom has lead me to clean out my online photo albums. I stumbled upon some OLD random photos I thought I would share with everyone. Oh, the memories!

Brent and I, sometime in 2000 I think.

Brent, Chad Ryerson , and Shawn Davis, doing their best "Cornholio" impressions.

One of our random summer parties. We thought we were so cool, and we sure had fun! Amber Haywood, Lindsey Hayes, Ashley Feht, Brittany Ewoldt, Ruth Esveld, Bridget Gore, Amanda Reese, Jenni Juergens, Andrea Perry, Andrea Gotto, Chelsea Clock. This is back before we were all old married ladies! :)

Our "lovely" cousin Scott being masculine and feminine at the same time. Powder Puff football anyone?

Brent and Scott taking pictures before prom. It is nice to see the maturity level has raised a bit since then. See, there's still hope for the rest of you boys!

Fearless

2008-12-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

"Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again…even though every time you’ve tried before you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry” and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright…that’s fearless, too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless."
--Taylor Swift--

A Pet's 10 Commandments

2008-12-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters

The Power of Postive Thinking

2008-12-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, is my life really that exciting that I haven't posted a new blog in a month? Look out...those Lloyds are CRAZY! :-)
I can't believe it's almost a week into December already. I also can't believe my birthday is on Sunday. I am so not ready to be 26. 25 was hard for me, because it was halfway between 20 and 30. But, now, 26 is closer to 30 than 20! It's a scary thought that in 4 short years I will be 30 years old! I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe because I thought by this age I would have a house and a kid or two? But, we all know life doesn't always go the way we planned. Being the wife of a Fareway employee in the transfer program means you're never settled.
We're still anxious to get out of Omaha. The next store to open is in Stewartville, Minnesota and is set to open the second week in January. I'm not hugely excited by the possibility of moving to Minnesota ( too cold! ), but we'll take whatever we can get. We're certainly not going to say no to anywhere at this point!
We are looking forward to going home over New Year's weekend to celebrate Christmas. Although every one's been out to see us since then, we haven't been home since last Christmas. That is way too long, but $4 a gallon gas and a truck will make you think twice about any unnecessary travel.
I've been trying really hard to think positively about the things we want to happen this month, like Brent being transferred, or being blessed with a Little Lloyd. :) The negative route hasn't done me any good yet, so I've decided it's time to throw the pessimism right out the window. It's optimism for me from this day forward! I believe in the power of postive thinking! If any one else wants to send some postive thought and prayers our way, we'll take all we can get!
Hopefully by the end of the year, we'll have one or two GREAT things happen to us we can share!
I hope everyone is having a great holiday season so far, and isn't waiting until the last moment to get all their shopping done. I work in retail, those last minute shoppers are out for blood!

Vacation!

2008-11-06T05:41:00.001-08:00

Brent and I recently went on a short, much-needed vacation. We left last Thursday afternoon, and drove to Kansas City where we met Roger and Janele. We left our car at my Aunt and Uncle's house and all got in the Fish mobile, headed for Texas. We drove through 6 states all night long, and arrived in Allen, Texas around 6:00 Friday morning. It was a quick trip for me, seeing as I slept in the car the majority of the way, but Brent and Roger might tell you differently!
The whole purpose of our vacation was to see the NASCAR race at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth, TX. Lucky for us, Brent's Uncle Darwin and Aunt NN live in Allen, TX, only about 45 minutes away! It was great to see them and have a place to stay while we were there.
Janele and I were experiencing a NASCAR race for the first time, and we both had lots of fun, even though by the end of the weekend I think it is safe to say we were a little raced out. Between Friday and Sunday we saw 3 races and a qualifying session, sat in the sun for hours on end, and drove back and forth to the race track 6 times. We were all a little tired when we got home late Monday!
The weather was beautiful, around 85. A little warmer than expected, but I don't think any of us were willing to complain about mid 80's in November!
It was nice to get away, but unfortunately, it's back to the real world for us now!

The whole crew tailgating before the race...Brent, Roger, NN, Darwin, me, and Janele.

The cars lined up before the race. Brent and I were cheering for #9, Kasey Kahne.

Brent and I being silly before the race started.

Kasey Kahne riding around the track after being introduced.

The back of Kasey Kahne's head. This is not zoomed in, I was really that close to him!

Texas Motor Speedway at night, tailgating after the final race Sunday night.

Roger and Janele.

All the boys...Darwin, Roger, and Brent.

Brent and I outside before the race. Go Kasey Kahne!

Brent and I all decked out in our Kasey gear at Darwin and NN's house.

The start of the race.

Dear God, From the Dog

2008-10-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jag uar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Top 10 Reasons to Adopt a Shelter Animal

2008-10-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

1. It's less expensive than buying from a breeder.

2. They're already spayed or neutered.

3. They have their shots.

4. They're usually house trained.

5. It will change your life.

6. It will change their life.

7. Huge selection of dogs and cats to choose from.

8. They love you give them comes back to you times ten.

9. You'll get a new best friend.

10. You will save one of the approximately 2.7 million animals euthanized every year due to over-population.

All 3 of our wonderful kids are rescued animals. I've done my part. Have you?

It sure is Monday...

2008-10-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

It's a cold, gloomy Monday at the Lloyd house today. It's a delightful 45 and rainy outside today. Definitely not my kind of weather. It does make me nostalgic for Friday night football games and cheerleading, though! After doing my "chores" this morning, I've spent the afternoon reading my favorite food-related magazine, Simple and Delicious. It's full of easy, tasty recipes that can all be done quickly, most under an hour, including several pages of recipes that can be done in 30 minutes or less. I would recommend this magazine for anyone looking to spice up their recipe box!

The first recipe on my list to try is a yummy-sounding holiday one from the cover of the November/December issue.

Peppermint Meltaways

COOKIE

1 C. butter, softened

1/2 C. powdered sugar

1/2 tsp. peppermint extract

1 1/4 C. all-purpose flour

1/2 C. cornstarch

FROSTING

2 T. butter, softened

1 1/2 C. powdered sugar

2 T. milk

1/4 tsp. peppermint extract

2 to 3 drops red food coloring, optional

1/2 C. crushed peppermint candies

In a small mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in extract. Combine flour and cornstarch; gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Shape into 1-inch balls. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes or until bottoms are lightly browned. Let cool.

For frosting, in a small mixing bowl, beat butter until fluffy. Add the sugar, milk, extract, and food coloring. Beat until smooth. Spread over cooled cookies; sprinkle with crushed candies.

Now it is time to go warm up in a bubble bath before Brent gets home and it's time to make supper. Then I'll be relegated to the bedroom, because he simply must watch Monday Night Football. ;-)

Here is a cute picture of the kitties. In a rare happening, they were cuddling oh so nicely together!

The Joys of Apartment Living...

2008-10-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

Brent and I now have another reason to want to leave Omaha...this apartment! We've lived in this particular apartment for almost 2 1/2 years, and over those 2 1/2 years, we have experienced many a problem with our kitchen sink. We are the bottom apartment, so everything the 2 apartments above us puts in their garbage disposal gets dumped on us, literally. Once the drain decides it can't hold anymore, it bursts at the seams and fills both sides of our kitchen sink with a delightful orange greasy sludge. This usually occurs on a weekend or late evening out of pure convenience.
This time it happened Wednesday afternoon. The aparment office must finally be sick of it, because they decided it was time to repair the broken pipe in the wall that is the creator of this problem. No big deal, right? They'll come in Friday morning fix the pipe and everything will be good as new by the time we get home from work around 6:00, right? WRONG
They tore up our kitchen sink and made a big old hole in our hallway to get to the pipe..

ALL FOR NOTHING! THE IDIOTS DRILLED IN THE WRONG PLACE!! So, today they came back and had to drill in our bedroom closet. We had to take everything out of there. It is such a mess.

Our bedroom and kitchen are both pretty much unliveable. It's hard to cook and sleep when you can't use either room! They poured concrete and will get the carpet put back, but not until Monday or Tuesday. It is such a hassle--and a mess!
But the mess isn't even the worst part. The plumbers must have decided that since they were doing such a bang-up job, they might as well just make themselves at home and turn on our air conditioner, open our blinds, and use our dishes for their little pumber-y gadgets!
I can't wait to move out of this apartment and hope I never have to live in a place like this again!